Dear Josh & Nick,
I love you sons.
I have been thinking about you quite a bit lately. I hope that things are going well for you. I miss you both very much.
I wish that I could talk with you in person to let you know how things are going here, and to keep you up to date with changes in my life. I do my best to communicate through this site, but I wish that I could just hug both of you and tell you how much I love you. Even more, I wish that I could share my life with you on a daily basis so that you could see who I really am, and that I am not who I have been portrayed to be.
I have no idea what the holidays are like for you guys, but for me they are always filled with both joy and pain. Joy for what The Lord is doing in our life here (Barb and I), and pain because of the separation from the two of you. The emptiness never really goes away, but the holidays give me more time off of work to reflect on the two of you.
I have nothing but wonderful, positive and loving memories of our time together, at least as it pertains to our relationship. Obviously, things weren’t very wonderful between your mother and me, I am sorry for that sons. I wish that things could have been very different for all of us.
I remember that you both shared with Dr. Freidberg that you didn’t remember things the same way that I did. Although neither of you could “remember” any details about what made me a “bad dad”, you still believed that I was. (When either of you start reading about Parental Alienation, you will understand how that can happen.) There are two major reasons that I remember things differently than you.
The first is that I was much older than both of you when we were taken from each other’s life. I know the truth of what happened in our home, and what our relationship was like with each other. I know how close the three of us were. I remember everything that we did together. I also know the steps that I took to protect you guys from those that would hurt and use you to achieve their own goals. You have no idea…
In addition, I know exactly how the court system operated during this time. And the many things that were said and done that were untruthful, dishonest and selfish in order to make sure that I wasn’t allowed in your life for all of these years.
The second advantage I had was that no one attempted to change my memories of us together, or to brainwash or manipulate me into believing bad things about the two of you. Both of you suffered at the hands of selfish people. They did everything in their power to make sure that you never found out, or remembered the truth, about me or our relationship with each other. The people involved in keeping us from each other knew that the only way they could ever convince you that I was a bad father was to completely remove me from your life. It wouldn’t have been possible otherwise. You would have seen the truth…
Nick, you are always in my heart & thoughts. I love you and am proud of you. I am so sorry that I can’t be there for you on a daily basis son. I look forward to being with you again whenever you are ready. If you or Joshua ever need me, I am here for you. You have all of my contact information on this site. In case you have been told differently, there is nothing in place to legally prevent either of you from contacting me anytime you wish.
In addition, it is my understanding that in the state of MI any child in the Friend of the Court system can make their own choice about which parent they want to live with starting at age 14. I am simply sharing this public information with you for your own knowledge in case you ever need it.
Josh, I hope that you are having fun driving! But please always keep in mind that when you make a mistake in a car it can really cost you. Always treat a vehicle with respect or it can be deadly.
I pray often that you and Nick will choose your friends wisely. It is especially important at your current ages. You are laying the foundation for the rest of your life at this age. It can be fun and exciting to have a lot of new freedoms, but with each new freedom there is a corresponding responsibility. You have a good head on your shoulders son. I’m sure you will do just fine.
I am very proud of you Josh. My life has been enriched beyond what I could ever have hoped or imagined by being privileged to be your and Nicholas’s father. They may have separated us from each other but they can never stop me from loving you son. As I shared with Nick, please feel free to contact me whenever you are ready. I will be here…
I hope that you guys have started reading some of the books I’ve recommended. They are really great books and can help you quite a bit during this time in your life. I wish that I knew more of what was happening in your lives. I would love to be there to help both of you navigate through your teen years. I continue to trust God with both of you daily. It’s the only way that I make it through the day.
I hope and have prayed many times that the man your mother married is a good and godly man. And that he takes good care of both of you. Although he can never replace your God-given father, he is in an active parenting role for you. I hope that he leads you well with gentleness, wisdom and respect.
Also, I wanted to let you know that Barb & I will be sending you and Nicholas a Christmas card with a gift in it this year. You will be getting birthday cards as well from now on. The last time we sent one (several years ago) your mother waited almost 6 months before allowing you to cash it. And it seemed to create a very bad situation for you and Nick (with her) so we have held off until now to make things easier for you guys.
At this point, we believe that both of you are old and strong enough to stand up for yourselves. Even at a very early age, you both had a strength of spirit that will serve you well as you get older. I imagine that both of you are growing into fine young men. It’s hard to believe that you will be 17 years old in January Josh! Wow!!!
I want this to be posted on your site so that you guys know what to expect. I will send your cards with a delivery receipt from the post office to make sure they get delivered. I hope that you both get and enjoy them.
Love,
Dad
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